Albatross

Isn't it funny that sometimes you can make a comment about something and see, on the computer screen, some form of a Freudian Slip? Something that colors how you have changed your perspective on a subject.

I have been looking for employment, I think most of you know. I am looking to reenter the corporate world after a nice exile as an Administrative Assistant. I am old enough to still think of it as a Secretary, something I have been involved with since I was 16.

When I entered into Corporate America I was shocked. Shocked at the petty stupidity, shocked at the rigidity, and shocked at the waste. Small businesses run lean, so this was new to me. I was expected to use my brain to either make or save the company money. I loved it. I learned to love the corporate world as well. I figured out the system and worked it well. I was outstanding at my job, this being from a normally modest person. I could multitask so many things that twice after I moved during departmental realignments it took two people to replace me. I wish I was this good in my private life, trust me.

I was the Queen of the Office. If someone needed something, I could get it. I didn't just work for the managers, I worked for everyone. I learned the Building Network and had almost worked my way to Queen of the Building. That person who knows the REALLY important people. (Janitors, IT, and the Cafeteria Ladies) in the building and has the contacts for the myriad of things outside the building as well (Caterers, Couriers, reliable Taxi Services). Seriously, if you are in a large corporate atmosphere, you have got to be nice to this person because they can get shit done. I learned from some very wise Admins. I thrived on it.

Then one day we get word of another 'departmental realignment' and I will be getting a new boss. A woman boss. A woman boss who knows absolutely nothing about our departments area of expertise, instead she is a woman who is good at 'realigning departments'. Hey, I can roll with the punches. I had a boss that was so much like Michael Scott that it was painful to watch The Office for awhile. However, "Michael" was not sexist and the few times he asked me to get him coffee for himself and his meeting attendee, he apologized. I knew it was a timing thing and I am good with that, and even took the blame when he missed a flight I reminded him of twice, but working for Katherine Parker from "Working Girl" was a whole 'nother ballgame.

I have only recently, within the last 3 years, actually watched any length of the movie "Working Girl". (Yeah, yeah, make fun of me some more, but I am not a Griffith fan, so skipped it.) I caught it on WGN or something on day. DEAR LORD was that freaky watching that show. It was like a glimpse into my past, without the '80's hairdo and shoulder pads.

Let me start out by saying that I respected this woman's knowledge and her ability to divvy up a department and make everyone squirm. It was impressive to watch. However, when that squirming is directed at you, well, it isn't so fun. Shall we discuss just a tad of these to put this post into perspective? The loooong story is just ad naseum of the same bitchy litanies that was so gloriously put on film by Ms. Weaver and Ms. Griffith.

To start, this was a seriously large building. Seriously large. It was close to a quarter mile walk to the water fountains. Even though I went into her office each day approximately 20 minutes before it was time for me to leave for the day, "Katherine" would wait until 5 minutes before my carpool arrived to do something that would attract my attention and she would look at me through the glass of her office and wave her water glass at me to let me know it was time for a refill. Time to RUSH across the HALF MILE to get her her damned water before the carpool arrived. This happened about twice per week, more if she was feeling particularly cranky.

I had to keep her kids' calendars, come up with a multiplication chart to test her son, arrange personal travel along with business travel, and even called 911 when she had a medical emergency and went with her to the hospital, arranging for emergency childcare for her children and calling her family. For some reason, her behavior just got a worse after that. Her demands increased and her nastiness skyrocketed.

She asked me to get her water once and bring it to a meeting she was going to have. A 'meeting' with one of her friends that had nothing to do with work, I might add. The problem? This meeting was just off the hallway to the water fountains. I ended up walking behind her holding her water cup most of the way, then walked the additional 50 feet, filled up the glass and walked it back to her in the office, like I was a little slave girl and had to walk behind her 5 paces.

At this time I started looking to transfer to another department. She was so sickeningly nice to my face and I know she was saying things behind my back. I guess she wasn't smart enough to realize that I had worked with her managers much longer than she. I had tried to get two other admin positions in another building (again, it's good to be the Queen) but word started coming back to me that she was squelching them. Unfortunately, she was also a Queen, having been at this institution far longer than I, just in the skyscraper downtown not out in the 'burbs with the rest of us. This woman repeatedly took credit for my ideas and publicly ridiculed me in a departmental meeting (about 200 people).

Finally a job came up that lit my fire. I had already been doing parts of this job in my extra time to aid this group (I told you, I was damn good at my job) and knew I was a shoe-in. It would have been a slight decrease in 'status' but was one step away from a large increase and a whole new job field with huge potential. I was thrilled to be told on the sly that I was both managers choice, then leaning in in a conspiratorial way, proceed to be be told "If you don't get the job, you will know why" with a quick raise of the eyebrows and the eyes pointing at her office.

I didn't get the job.

I still to this day do not know why she wanted me under her thumb. I found another job, five minutes from our house, that worked much better with our children but with no future and less pay. I had to quit the job that I loved and give up on that future because of her and I realize now that has tainted my view of the corporate world until now.

Oh, and she quit one month later. Yes, ONE MONTH LATER, after one of her managers quit and went to a competitor with the cream of his group. I was just shy of another week's vacation, more money in my 401K, and more perks of longevity.

I am letting go of this albatross now. I am looking forward to being back in the corporate world. I got a sweet buzz from the Corporate Crack because it became a game. A sweet game of how many contacts I could get to make whatever I was doing smoother and faster, being the go-to person for hundreds. Mama wants more of the fun.

To hell with the bad memories, time to create new one!